Jennifer’s Letters

Personal Power

1/13/2015

Dear Jennifer,

After the hubbub dies down, you are once again a mother. A dream come true. Every wish you’ve wished for the last four years, every sacrifice you’ve made, all to assume this mantle of responsibility.

It’s a big one, and it puts you in an uncomfortable position: one of power.

Power is a rocky concept. Nearly everyone who had it over you abused it. So you’re left with a thousand ways not to wield it, and few examples of how to. Read more …

Body Image

12/17/2014

Dear Jennifer,

Stop being a fat woman in your head. Just stop.
How many episodes of “My 600-lb Life” do you need to watch before you realize that nearly every single person still feels like a fat person even after they lose the weight? How many of these people still try to stuff their faces after surgery, even when they physically can’t? It’s in your head. And until you stop being a fat woman in your head, you’re not going to stop being a fat woman in your body.

You made strides this week: you did sit-ups without any excuses. You took a walk, and resolved not to look to see if anybody made faces or watched you or judged you.

It doesn’t matter if they judge you. It doesn’t matter if they give you a high-five for “finally getting off your duff” or if they scowl at the fat chick weighing down their health insurance premiums. It doesn’t matter if they ignore you. Read more …

For more of our letters, click here!

Ghosts of the Past

December 10, 2014

Dear Jennifer,

Ghosts assail you from every direction. Ghosts of bad decisions, of limited options. Ghosts of oppression and doubt. Memories bumped up your anxiety in the night…and the day, and the twilight and the dawn.

The husks of poor coping skills lie everywhere, tripping you as you try to walk through the memories with your head held high. But like smoke, the higher you hold yourself, the more you choke.

Life sucks sometimes. You’re not always going to make the right decision. The dog-and-pony shows sometimes require more than a stiff upper lip—sometimes they require every ounce of your strength. Your internal strength. The strength you have to realize when you’re making your life worse for yourself. Read more …

Celebrate Today

11/26/2014

Dear Jennifer,

Today was big. Aside from the fits of crying punctuating your day, you stood strong in the face of a big fear.

You are not your mother.

Although you have some of the same challenges, you face yours differently. Where she fell before them, hoping they would not sweep her away, you stood firm. No, more than that: you ran at the problem and gave it the finger.

Sure, the finger looked suspiciously like unpacking Mom’s old dishes, washing them, and using them for dinner, but it was “the finger.” Read more …

Fight

11/19/2014 

Dear Jennifer,

Fight. Once upon a time, when you wore scabby knees like a badge, you raised your fists at nearly everyone who dared tell you your place. You fought, you scrapped, you rebelled. You argued, you stood up, you questioned. Where is that fire, Jennifer? Where are the coals that, once breathed upon, will roar up into the red-headed inferno you once were?

I know she’s in there. That tempest, that revolutionary. Though your arguments’ resolutions migrated northward to your brain, your hands still itch to fight. Your chest still burns to scream. When did you decide you weren’t worth fighting for?

In front of you lies success. Read more …

Success

11/12/2014

Dear Jennifer,

Remember this heady feeling of success? Of the stars aligning just for you? It’s been a long time, but there it is. You have plenty more work to do, more work than you think is even possible to do, but it feels wonderful. This is the feeling you chased in college, when you’d stay up all night completing three chapters’ worth of work, when you’d bust out an essay in an hour, when you’d help the English Department’s Darling edit her work.

Success.

There’s no destination called Success (except in New Hampshire and Arkansas.) Success isn’t somewhere you get to eventually. Read more …