Body Image

12/17/14

Dear Jennifer,

Stop being a fat woman in your head. Just stop.
How many episodes of “My 600-lb Life” do you need to watch before you realize that nearly every single person still feels like a fat person even after they lose the weight? How many of these people still try to stuff their faces after surgery, even when they physically can’t? It’s in your head. And until you stop being a fat woman in your head, you’re not going to stop being a fat woman in your body.

You made strides this week: you did sit-ups without any excuses. You took a walk, and resolved not to look to see if anybody made faces or watched you or judged you.

It doesn’t matter if they judge you. It doesn’t matter if they give you a high-five for “finally getting off your duff” or if they scowl at the fat chick weighing down their health insurance premiums. It doesn’t matter if they ignore you. A fit woman going for a walk is not a big deal. It’s only a big deal to you because you think like a fat woman.

Discomfort, whether the discomfort of being hungry or the discomfort of strenuous exercise, is not life-threatening. It’s just pain. You’re not starving, Jennifer. Obviously. Exercise seriously won’t kill you. At least not the kinds you’re doing. Non-fat women don’t worry about that. They don’t make a big dramatic deal out of being hungry. OMG, my belly growled, call 911!

Breathe, Jennifer. Breathe in satiety. Breathe out the anxiety guiding your fork. Fear keeps you fat. Anger puts on pounds. Release, forgive, feel satisfied IN YOURSELF.

Yes, society is mean to fat women. So is the entire Medical field. It’s not fair. But don’t pretend you’re fat because you’re fighting for fat-woman rights. You wouldn’t even notice the plight of the obese woman if you weren’t one yourself. Go ahead and fight for the rights of the obese. But it’s not a crutch–or a crane–for your fork. And it’s not a reason to stay fat. It’s not a valid excuse.

It starts in your head and it ends in your head. If you stop being a fat woman in your head, your body will catch up. Get up. Exercise. Be hungry before a meal. Don’t eat if you’re not hungry. Stop eating before you stuff yourself. It’s not easy, Jennifer. Not even a little bit. But it’s impossible if you don’t change your mind about what is an is not doable. What is and is not easy. It’s as hard as you make it for yourself. Stop being a fat woman in your head, and you’ll stop being a fat person in your body. You’ll just stop.

To read more letters, click on The Path!