February 5th, 2016
The picture popped up on my screen, swollen and busted up lips, and I jerked away as if it had been my face that had been punched. I stared at the picture wondering why it was there for anyone and everyone to see. Perhaps it was a cry for help…again. Maybe she needed to hear that she didn’t deserve that…again. Maybe she just needed the support of her friends. I don’t know why she posted that picture, but I responded with brutality. “Get out now!” I wanted to add “dumbass,” but refrained.
I’ve seen these posts before. People advertising their domestic violence. Crying out, “Look what he did!” or “What should I do?” Each time I shake my head and wonder why they can’t see the obvious choice. I know about the cycle of abuse. I understand there is an insidious breaking down of a person until they don’t know what’s right, what’s wrong, or what part they played in the abuse. I get that the victim has no self-worth and that’s why they stay. But why post that on Facebook?
I see these posts and I always react with judgment and derision. How can anyone be so weak? Why would anyone think they deserved to be abused? Why are they posting their shame for everyone to see? Would I have done the same?
I hate when I see those posts.
I hate those reminders of who I used to be.
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That’s why I like Chumplady so much. I think she posted hopeing it would make the abuser feel ashamed bringing it out in the open.
I am a survivor as well.
I had not heard about Chumplady until you posted. I can say that my intent is not to shame anyone, only to be honest with myself and show more empathy toward those who’ve walked the same path. Abuse is never the responsibility of the victim. Staying, however, is a whole different ball of wax.