Why Worry

October 26, 2015

Dear Kerry,

Why do worries consume you? Late at night, you jolt awake in a cold sweat. No nightmare could achieve this result as efficiently. Your worries seize you. The realities that you try to release to God consume your peace. You force yourself into rationality as your heart rate steadies. There’s nothing to be done at 3:30 in the morning. Relax. It will be handled in the dawn. You say a prayer, and then another.

Yet sleep alludes. You drift between consciousness and concern, never dipping into rest. Minutes swell like a wave, and before you realize it, the alarm announces the beginning of the day. You march through the motions of daily activities, a brain-numbed robot striving for a return to joy.

What is the use in all this worry? I believe there is a biological imperative, a safety component in worry. Worry provides that nagging voice which forces focus on an issue. Yet sometimes, a perspective change makes all the difference in a problem, and worry mires and muddies the mind. The forest through the trees and all that. Also, when stuck in the worry cycle, resistance breaks down, and it is easy to become sick as a result.

I try refreshing my soul. I know my weaknesses. I ask God for guidance. I beg for his help. “Let go and let God.” Yet if I truly released these concerns, I’d better appreciate the manna laid before me, thank the ravens who brought the meat, and move through a life of Grace.

So, I admit, by worrying, my lack of faith is shown. With all my heart, I believe God tends his children. I guess my concern arises from a disbelief in my worth. So much in this world needs God’s care. His touch calms storms and blankets the world with peace. The turmoil around me points to much greater needs than mine.

I’ll try to appreciate my manna. I’ll continue to work toward goals for the good of my beloved family. I’ll “let go and let God,” knowing he cares for the least of his creations, and thus I must trust I have value. I must grow in faith without worry.

K.

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