It’s okay. You need to hear that right now, don’t you? You are better than you were six months ago. You still have worries every moment, but that’s fine. Everyone goes through this stage, where they fear the future, fear the unknown; the stage where they know exactly what they want to do with their life and yet remain frightened to own up to it. You know what makes you happy, you know what you believe in, but don’t have the confidence to broadcast it, even to yourself. It’s okay.
Think about where you started. Six months ago you didn’t even think you would graduate, let alone get a job and make your own money. Six months ago you were sick and tired of being sick and tired but didn’t have the will to change things. Until one day you did. You stood up, admitted you’d strayed and needed help. Because of that you can look back and smile because, even though that time was hard, you got through it. So you’ll get through this, too. It’s okay.
You don’t have all the answers? Who does at nineteen? I know you wish you did, but the fact is that life wouldn’t be as interesting if that were the case. We need trials and tribulations in our lives to grow and change as individuals. What seem to be hazards and irritants in your life now are molding you into the person you will one day become. Who you are now is the direct result of your past. Who you will be is a direct result of right now. These frustrating moments, and how you handle them, are just as important as the great moments. Live each moment to the fullest and don’t waste one second. Don’t be scared. It’s okay.
You’re going to be tempted to hide in your room until all of this is over. Don’t. Go out and explore the world, be a part of it. You’ll be thankful, later, that you did. Make sure something about your life right now will be worth looking back on for laughs and grins. It seems hard now, but it will make such a difference down the road. Everything you push through in this period will create the woman who will read this letter and smile, wishing she could come back to this time and deliver wisdom you don’t yet possess.
Yes, you will have a future self, just as the person you are today is not who you were two years ago. You will make it through this. You will be happy. You may not believe it now, but I do, and that’s enough for now. Sit back and relax. Live your life one second at a time.
With all my love and support,
To read more of Tatyana’s letters, click here!