Samara 12/3/14 – I Looked in the Mirror

It is our pleasure to welcome Samara Norton as our mid-week guest writer. Samara, or K.S. Norton is a mother of two and an online student at Full Sail University. She’s currently getting her Bachelor’s in Creative Writing. Samara is a devoted anime fan. Her all-time favorite anime series is Naruto Shippuden, although, she tends to fall in love with the harem male protagonists or the sarcastic jerk types. Samara thinks of herself as perfectionist because she spends a ton of time on a piece until she feels it’s presentable. Samara is a Japanese language enthusiast, a passionate writer, a creative artist, and mostly importantly, she is addicted to eating.

no_cake“I Looked in the Mirror”

12/3/14

Hi Muffin, or should I call you K.S now?

It’s been a while since I heard from you. You haven’t spoken to me since you denied the fact that you were gaining a lot of weight. Or should I say we were gaining a lot weight? I told you, remember? Remember the look on your face when you first saw me in the mirror. You nearly broke down in tears. Yeah, we gained a lot. But you listened to that man. Personally, I have nothing against him because he is the love of your life. However, he was wrong and you knew and yet you shut me up and threw me in the darkest abyss of your thoughts because you were too afraid to admit the truth. We can’t get pregnant right now. There’s no way. Not in this condition. The doctor made it clear that our weight was the reason and yet you still hung to that thin thread of hope. I have to admit, though. You even had me fooled for a while. I sat back coiled in your thoughts and laughed, because I knew. You knew. This was yet another one of the illusions you made to prevent yourself from seeing what really occurred.

Eventually the realization sunk in and when it did, it yanked you to the deepest darkest part of your mind where I sat chained waiting for your arrival. I was so happy you accepted me. I actually wanted to thank you for taking that first step in admitting that we have a problem. That was the first step in setting me free. I have always been that rebellious part of you because in reality that is who we are. We are an independent, self-absorb, cynical, shrewd woman who thinks of the world as her malicious playground. But since we gained the weight you reverted back to your younger shy and low self-esteem self. Honestly I hated those years. We didn’t develop a backbone then. Starting today there will be no more excuses. No more overeating. I mean come on, sharing the same space with three double cheeseburgers and two side of fries can be filing, right? Of course, I’m right. We are one in the same. So, here’s my contribution to our first step. Remember K.S, you grew to be quite the strongest of persons because you wanted to. You created me, a part of you, because you enjoyed talking to yourself. That just means you have double the support for this roller coaster we’re going to take. Just a reminder though, no matter how high the coaster goes and how hard your knees knock against each other because of the fear pumping through our blood, we are not alone. Never. Right beside us are friends and family. Some further away than others but all still connected as one.  The world has advanced in a way that we can keep in touch with our long distant friends and family. Please, remember that. I know there are times when we tend to forget and fall into one of our depression spells. Oh, yeah! It’s going to be a great first month! I just know it. Keep your head up. Well, I’ll keep our head up and keep walking forward. It’s only bad when you give up. And I’ll never let you give up again.

Sincerely,

Sam

samaraTo read more letters, click on The Path.

You can find more of Sam’s work at k.s.norton.wordpress.com

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5 Responses to Samara 12/3/14 – I Looked in the Mirror

  1. eportugal4 says:

    Great letter, KS! (Colleen posting as Elaina)

    Like

  2. K.S. Norton says:

    Reblogged this on Hi, I am Sam! Or K.S, Maybe Both and commented:
    Hi, everyone! I’ve been selected to be a quest speaker on an awesome encouragement ans self-motivating blog called One Year of Letters. The idea of the blog is to write a letter to yourself when you are feeling down, or when you want to than yourself for taking another step toward your goals. As a writer, we tend to focus on the fiction or the nonfiction of others. When do we have the time to sit and just write to our self? It sounds crazy, I know. But I have learned the best way to handle a stressful or emotional situation is to write it all out. Writing to yourself just makes it much easier for the words and the feelings that has been held within to release. Stop by One Year of Letters and check out my guest post and gander at the other wonderful, heart pulling posts as well.
    Brought to you from yours truly, K.S.

    Like

  3. K.S. Hernandez says:

    Very cool and honest.

    Like

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