Mary 10/23/2014- Forgiveness

forgivenessForgiveness

October 23, 2014

Mary,

Forgiveness

October 23, 2014

Mary,

Long forgotten memories cross your mind, but you need to remember you’re not that person any more. You don’t live in the past, but the memories, the bad ones, have been on your mind recently.

It’s painful looking in the mirror right now. You avoid it with a passion. Some days you don’t like you at all. You look at yourself and think, ‘What wrong with me?’ and there’s no answer.

Why the sad face? You see your family’s features in your face.

A member of your family came to see you. Shocked that he came to your door after years of ignoring you, you dealt with it at the time. Amazing, how the bad memories come back within that fifteen minutes he visited you.  You don’t want that in your life, nor do you need those bad memories. You had been feeling downhearted for a week now missing your relatives who are not good for you. There you said it.

Why do you feel melancholy now? How can you miss something you never had?

You recall as he was leaving, how he told you he loves you, you looked him in the eye and honestly said to him, ‘I love you, too,’ right to his face.  You searched his face for sincerity and love overwhelmed you. Before you said you loved him too, you decided to forgive him and you did in that moment.  That’s the kind of person you are, don’t forget that. Whether he meant that or not makes no difference, it’s how you feel in your heart. Yes, you love all your siblings but you don’t feel like they are family to you.

That makes you cry, because you’re so gullible. Life goes on.

The good news is you’ve been writing lately. You’re determined not to let the bad overwhelm the good, you write this letter to purge yourself and to put the bad memories away. You can move on now, the deed is done.

Why don’t you like yourself when you look into the mirror?  You don’t like the images and memories you see in your face.

You rose above your circumstances and you’ve succeeded, but those memories stare you in the face from the mirror, and you miss your people. Watch yourself or you’ll find yourself right back in the mess amid the siblings, and the whole nine yards. Yeah, you thought you had put it all behind you when another family member swindled you several months ago.  You can’t help but feel sorry for her, even though she did you wrong and ignored you after she got what she wanted. You haven’t heard from her since.   You think about the other two family members, but they don’t acknowledge you.

Ah, there it is the answer. You’re such an easy target.

That sounds like you don’t love your family, but you do. You just rather avoid them now, they only weigh you down. You know in your heart that you forgave your family, and that you have peace now. You just don’t forget what they’ve done.

You get through the days by the grace of God.

Smile at yourself in the mirror, Mary. Be glad for today and be grateful the past is behind you. As you told yourself in your first letter; you’re beginning a new chapter in your life.

Just write. Smile. Move on. Just love yourself too. Just be ‘YOU.’

Love,

Mary

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4 Responses to Mary 10/23/2014- Forgiveness

  1. Elizabeth says:

    Interesting letter Mary,
    I’ve found illness surfaces from the depths of my heart due to my inability to forgive and forget. Both must occur in order to find the freedom to truly move forward with peace. This epitome; a result of my philosophical introspection into my world of self-knowledge. Knowing myself is necessary for my individual growth. I send you love.

    Like

  2. maryknuckles says:

    Thank you, Elizabeth!

    Like

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